Life, Musings & personal, Sadness, Uncategorized

Missing You.

THE SADNESS  is always there. I look around and open my eyes realizing you are not with me and I am even more alone. We should have never been apart. It’s not right. My heart is empty and truthfully I am lost without you. 

I never wanted to let you down, forgive me if I slip away, to hide my tears away from this crazy world. Asking myself how did I get  here, for my life to be so far off. So far gone. I am lost. But I will fight to have you in my arms  again. You are my everything.  

I promise I’ll come back to you one day.

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Life, Sadness, Uncategorized

Helpless. 

What is life really? I don’t like it right now.

The world is against me, when I have done nothing to the world. The people I love most have been taken away from me.   The people who are supposed to love me really want to see me fail and knock me down. I will still show them I will be successful, but why is it this way..so negative. Having no one to lift you up. Having to lift up yourself. No one to talk to.

I am a delicate flower getting plucked and stomped on by life. The bitterness becoming inside of me. I can’t think. When all I want is to be around people who truly care and love me,  But sadly life isn’t giving me that.

It is true when people say the world is cruel.


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Life, Musings & personal, Wisdom

Words of Wisdom

  
You can either be judged because you created something or ignored because you left your greatness inside of you.” Criticism and negativity from other people is like a wall. And if you focus on it, then you’ll run right into it. You’ll get blocked by negative emotions, anger, and self-doubt. Your mind will go where your attention is focused. Criticism and negativity don’t prevent you from reaching the finish line, but they can certainly distract you from it. 

If you’re dealing with criticism, then don’t let the wall keep you from seeing the road. Focus on the path ahead. Another way I heard it put recently, “Ignore the boos. They usually come from the cheap seats.”

If you choose to respond to the haters, then surprise them with kindness. You might just win a new fan while you’re at it.

Finally, and most importantly, make the choices that are right for you. People will criticize you either way.

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Life, Musings & personal

Venting(2)

LONELINESS…
Loneliness sure takes a toll on you. Knowing there is no one to talk to. Having to hold everything in, thoughts, feelings and emotions. Having no one to share it with. No one to share anything with. A person who wants to share a lot of things and say a lot of things really has no one there for for them. 
A person without comfort, and companions is a real sadness. It comes to light as a person stays alone for years, they get used to it, but over time will get really depressed. 
To me, most people say “oh. You’ll just get used to it” which is true but the sadness because of the fact that I am alone, will always get to me. 
  

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Life, Musings & personal

Mysterious Past

  

I think a lot. A lot goes on in my head. A lot about life and what I have been through. It’s funny when I think about the past I always remember it starting when I was at age 4 and my mom got in a huge fight with my dad , not even noticing me carrying my little baby blanket in my hands crying. Then my memory skips to when I was at age 8 and I’m at a wedding because my father was getting married to my step-mom. (As that was happening I had to figure out and concluded for myself that my parents got a divorce). 

Going back and forth visiting my mom, my dad had custody of me and my 2 older brothers. I remember some good times. Like how every time we would see her she would always take us to buy my brothers video games and buy me stuffed animals, and how she would always make us smoothies and make us laugh, And boy was I a daddy’s girl. We would dance to the temptations, and he would teach me how to cook and as young as I was he would do my hair and let me lay next to him when thunderstorms woke me up and he would defend me whenever my stepmom was yelling at me for no reason at all (she didn’t like me). 

Then my memory skips to my teen years, which was really rough for me and a real mystery, but I will say that I lost my father when I was 16 and lost my mother when I was 18. I miss them everyday and hold on to as much precious memories as I can. Some dark memories(mystery), but mostly good.

I always just wonder that when I look back on my past why do I remember what I remember and why have I forgotten what isn’t there? Why are the memories in pieces…fragments?

A Real mysterious.


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